11 things we should never forbid our children but we ban every day

Yes, setting limits and norms for children is one of the pillars of education. They need them to grow, learn and interact with their environment in a healthy way.

However, we have to be careful with excessive rules or that these become a huge list of things that they should not do. In fact, oddly enough We should never forbid our children to do or say these worldly things, and yet we do. Because be careful, certain restrictions can make the child feel insecure and slowed down in their learning.

1- Make mistakes: Do you like to be scold and yell at when you make mistakes? Neither does a child, even more so when he is in the process of learning and it still costs him things like tying his shoes, making his bed well or keeping each toy in its place. The important thing is to help them improve day by day and give them the time and the necessary guidelines so that they learn little by little to do tasks that seem simple to us, but to them, a world.

2. Cry: Phrases like "don't cry" or "stop crying at once" only teach children that crying is bad. If every time they cry we scold them and even yell, they will begin to suppress their emotions, they will try not to show or externalize them and they will become adults who do not handle their emotions well. Isn't it better to ask him why he's crying and give him our support? Isn't it better to hug him and make him feel loved?

3. Say no: despite being a child and despite the fact that we are the ones who set the rules and our children must obey us, it does not mean that the child is not just another member of the family with voice and vote. Phrases like "don't ever say no to me again, here you do what I say, period", make our children submissive and conformists. We must leave a space in which the child can express what he wants or does not want, what he wants or does not want to do.

4. Express your opinion: it is in line with prohibition number 3. With the excuse that they are small and ... "what will they know", we do not leave them space to express their own thoughts and wishes.

5. Be restless, curious and noisy: Children run, jump, scream and laugh loudly. Children are mischievous, have tantrums, disobey, are nervous, have a lot of energy, pry, try, discover, make mistakes ... They are not desk furniture ... They are children! And so, ultimately, it is how children are happy, making noise. We must teach them to behave in each place but, ultimately, we cannot force them to be quiet, still and serious at all times. When a child plays and screams, he is happy.

6- Eat alone: With the excuse that they are going to stain or that they are very young, many parents tend to feed them themselves at ages when children are already able to put a fork or spoon in their mouth without help. It is an overprotective attitude that does not help the child to develop.

7. Be afraid: Fears in childhood are normal. In fact, there are fears that are associated with each age, as children grow up they develop some fears and overcome others. We must never forbid children to be afraid of the dark, of dogs, of the doctor, of being alone or of strangers. We must not make them feel ashamed for having fears and we must be with them and accompany them to overcome them.

8. Have secrets: We all have secrets and although parents have to subject our children, as my mother used to say, to a "probation", we have to respect their privacy and their small patch of private life. In fact, as they get older they will have more secrets, we have to make sure that we do not overstep the line that makes our children lose confidence in us by reading their journal or pressuring them to tell us everything. And we do have to let them know that they can tell us anything, that we will always be with them and support them.

9- Draw or make crafts: We already have enough work to clean up what the child gets dirty when he paints, colors, cuts or manipulates with plasticine, right? Well, it is a serious mistake because we would be restricting their creativity and imagination.

10. Ask: children throughout their lives can ask tens, thousands, millions of questions about anything. Even if they have the answer, they ask. These questions can be classified as easy, difficult, impossible and "glups", which are those that make us sweat because we don't even know how to deal with them. Well, even in those cases we should not ignore them, ask them to shut up or not answer them. This open communication in which we respond, even if we are tired, to their questions, lays the foundation for a strong bond between parents and children.

11- Being greedy: yes, that way it sounds strange, no one should be greedy. We refer to the legal imperative of many parents to force children to share their things at any time and in any circumstance. Why should they? Yes we must teach them to share but never force them and even less take away what they are playing with so that another child can play.

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