The human body is an incredible machine ... a machine created long before going out into the world and that allows us to create, communicate, feel ... and give life. The greatest miracle in human biology. The greatest miracle that we can do within all the capacities of the human being.
When a woman receives the gift of life in her womb, many things begin to change in her, physically and emotionally. Sensations that she had not experienced before, emotions that suddenly take over her, parts of her body that she does not recognize as her own ...
Women who were previously more practical can become very emotional people. Women who previously felt absolutely confident in their health may begin to have fears. And women who have never accepted or loved their body can start doing it or, quite the contrary, stop doing it if they had that prior security in their physique.
Everything is part of a physiological process. It is not about any disease or syndrome that is affecting us, but simply a vital process.
The big problem today is that, on many occasions, this is not understood. Women are spoken to with paternalism, they are treated as if that hormonal dance, which is allowing their baby to nest and grow, and that the mother's body prepares to receive, love and nurture it is nothing more than a hindrance, and not something absolutely necessary and natural that prepares the mother for what her life will be like in this new role.
When a pregnant woman cries with a movie, for example, it is said that she is 'sensitive' or that 'it is the hormones'. It is said so commonly, the presence of this hormonal modification is repeated so much, that it almost ceases to have any other meaning than that of modifying the mother's emotional state. And this is not true, although it is very common due to the absolutely direct relationship between hormones and emotional responses.
This relationship is unknown or trivialized, causing the woman and her emotional responses to not be taken into account. Make it seem like you don't have to pay attention to them, don't attend to them because they respond to an alteration ... 'it will pass'.
But what about a woman who feels condescending, does not feel that her emotions deserve to be addressed, or even feels that they are not valid? That will be a woman whom we are pushing not to listen to herself, not to take care of herself, not to check her interior and see what is happening ... to put aside her maternal instinct ... And that is very serious because it will be that instinct that help her, the one who guides her in her delivery, in her postpartum, in the upbringing of her baby… in her new femininity after being a mother.
Being aware that all changes, all emotional reactions, all sensations have to be validated and heard, being aware that everything is part of an absolutely natural process, of something 'programmed' since before our own birth is essential. Listen to us, attend to us, reflect on each of the sensations and emotions to perceive where they can come from and how to fit them ... All of these will be things that can help us along the way.
And that they listen to us, give us space to express ourselves, to laugh, cry or cry while we laugh ... to express our fears, our joys, our hopes and desires ... This is how the doula, our doula, accompanies us ... The one we have chosen, with which we have connected.
Without assessing whether emotions are 'good' or 'bad', without having to give them permission or not because, whether we do it or not, they are there ... Showing us that our process is unique and that no one better than us can understand it or find someone help us understand it ... By being by our side ... By being our doula, no more.
Doula in all stages of motherhood
Specialized in Prenatal and Neonatal Grief
Respectful Porting Advisor
Early Childhood Education Technician
Contributor to our site
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