The birth of a baby it is a great event. In addition to the parents, the whole environment is pending: future grandparents, uncles, friends ... all closely follow the calendar and the well-being of the future mother. They organize themselves to receive news as soon as the moment arrives and, naturally, to celebrate the long-awaited arrival in the world of that little person.
But in some cases, things are not going as well as everyone hopes. For various reasons, the baby has some type of difficulty that is detected at the time of its birth, some of them due to problems during delivery or others, such as epilepsy or different syndromes.
We explain what to say when a disabled baby is born.
Naturally, this impacts all the people around the couple who were aware of them. Leaves them in state of shock and they can only think about the difficulties that both the child and their parents will have to face. All your expectations and illusions crumble and they don't know how to react.
This reaction is completely normal, nobody is prepared for this, but below I will point out some ideas to keep in mind if you find yourself in this situation. The reason is that between going to the hospital with balloons, teddy bears and flowers to no one visiting you there is an abyss. And parents need you now more than ever.
So that you do not stay without knowing what to say when a baby with a disability is born.
- Approach the hospital. Pay them a visit. Do not stop going if you had planned. Imagine how it must be that 'no one' dares to approach new parents. Probably, in addition to their own emotions, they can feel the fear that is around them and this increases their anguish. If you really want to be by his side in these difficult times, come to the hospital.
- Bring them a gift. As you would if the baby had no difficulty: balloons, a small toy, flowers ... welcome him to this world as you have done with all the babies that have been born.
- Ask the mother and father: 'How are you?'Of course you can surely imagine that they feel very bad, but openly asking how they feel is opening the door for them to express themselves, to give them permission to cry, to show their anger, or their fear. Whatever it is at this time, they may be experiencing very intense emotions and it will come in handy to air them out.
- The new baby, first and foremost, is a baby. And he looks like everyone, even though he has a developmental disability or problem: he has little eyes, nose, little hands, more or less hair ... take a look at those things too and if you find a similarity with any of the parents, comment on it, just as you would in another situation.
- Take it, touch it. As you would with another baby. If he is in very fragile health and is in the incubator or ICU and you can come to see him, gently touch his little hand or foot, talk or sing to him. Look at him without fear from day one and treat him with much affection.
- Ask about the baby's health: not all children with disabilities have associated health problems (a baby with Down syndrome, for example, may not have any). In any case, that is one of the aspects that will most concern parents at this time.
- Offer to help in what parents need: they may not feel strong enough to attend to some matters Don't just say 'what can I do?' or 'let me know if I can help'. Parents are too tired to ask. So offers concrete help: water the plants, bring clean clothes, take your dog for a walk… no matter how small it may seem, in those moments any gesture of help is very necessary.
- Take care of the other children: once again, tangible help. If there are other children in the family, they are likely to get lost in the confusion. Schedule a time to take the kids out to do something fun and tell parents when, where, and for how long. Parents they need time together and with the baby, and they need to know that their other children are cared for.
- Don't forget about them no matter how long it takes: there are babies who can spend weeks in the hospital, even months. And with them, their mothers and fathers. It is important that you maintain your closeness, because they will not need you only during the first days. Caring for and educating a child with special needs is a very long road full of obstacles.
- A baby is born! And both he and his parents they deserve all the love, the care and excitement that comes with a new life.
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