Surely your children suddenly one day jump with an answer out of tune. We welcome you to adolescence, a period that 'has to go through' and in which, a good dose of patience, giving them their space and understanding what is happening to them are the keys to not going crazy.
You will live intense moments, they will oppose you, what you like will horrify them, they will play the music at full volume and they will only want to be with friends. Do not try to understand their behaviors, they are going through a time of profound psychological and physical changes and their hormones dominate their mood. Get ready for it! These are the stages of adolescence.
When does adolescence begin? It depends on the child, but it can start from the age of 10 and extend to the age of 19. Puberty, with the development of sexual characteristics, marks the beginning. We tell you what adolescence is, what its stages are and how to cope with it.
Preadolescence ranges from 8 to 11 years. They are preparing for the transition from children to adolescents. In this phase you can notice that they have come to debate some of the things you say. The 'mom and dad know everything' era is over.
Children begin to experience important physical changes such as bone growth, which even they themselves can notice with discomfort in the knees, for example. But don't worry, it's absolutely normal.
You will also see some changes in your face in the mirror, which will become more stylized.
In addition, they will also modify their way of seeing the world and thinking. They will evolve into abstract thinking and enter a time of greater reflection.
2. Early adolescence
Early adolescence ranges from 11 to 15 years old. This is where the most important hormonal changes occur.
You will see that the body of your children changes abruptly and quickly. Their sexual organs will develop and the girls will have menstruation. The famous acne will appear. Your body will become more athletic and muscular. And this is where we must understand that your needs are different! That is why they eat more and sleep more. They are sure to get lazier to get up in the morning and tell you more times that they are hungry!
It is also the time when friends start to be the most important thing in your life. They want to feel part of the group and look for ways of seeing the world different from those they had within the family. It is a stage of self-knowledge, self-centeredness and self-esteem work. They are looking for your identity! You will see that they change a lot of clothing style in a short time.
3. Late adolescence
It ranges from 15 to 19 years old. At this point, parents have already gotten used to the mood swings and common behaviors of adolescence and it seems that living together is once again more bearable.
Surely your friends and family will spend the day saying: How tall are your children! Yes, in this age group they will reach their maximum height.
The boys begin to think as individuals who belong to a society and to worry about the social. They will start to think about their future and will want you to give them more freedom to hang out later or make other plans with friends. His motto here is: Jo ... but if my friends are allowed!
You will see that at this stage they will dress in a less radical way and it will seem that they are all the same.
Empathize with them:there will be situations in which a small unforeseen event becomes a drama of unfathomable dimensions such as not being able to iron your hair because the irons have damaged ... Don't tell him it's silly ... and offer him an alternative like straightening his hair with the dryer and lend him your help for it.
Don't question them: sometimes they don't count for much. A how are you? they answer ok! And that's it. Sometimes they don't feel like talking, let it be and find a moment when they are more animated. Give them their space.
Don't judge them: teenagers don't like to be labeled or judged. If you do this, they will put distance and close in on themselves.
Negotiate: You don't always have to say no to their proposals. Stay away from destructive criticism and use assertive language, practicing the sandwich technique with its three layers:
1.- Positive message: I think what you propose is very good ...
2.- Refusal or disagreement: But this cannot be for these reasons ...
3.- Positive message: Let's see an alternative… what ideas do you have?
Actively listen: let them speak first, don't interrupt them. Don't use phrases like 'I would never have done that at your age', 'I have never answered my parents like that'… You are saying: 'I was better than you' and they will be offended. Explain and explain things to them from the dialogue and tranquility. And above all, be very patient!
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