Have you ever wondered how you could help your children prevent child sexual abuse? Perhaps the best way to do this is to discuss it with them and explain to children what sexual abuse is. If you want to know how to embroider this theme, here are some tips!
Often, in our desire to protect our children, we avoid talking about certain topics that we consider harmful or perverse. He child sexual abuse is one of them. What happens before this syncretism is that we leave them exposed, without information, without tools to differentiate what is healthy from what is toxic. And what good enough mother or father would want that for their little ones? I bet none.
This is why I created the story of 'Clara y su sombra' (Ediciones Urano), so that, together with the manual downloadable on the web (www.claraysusombra.com), families and professionals have more tools to address this theme with your children.
What are the main keys necessary to be able to talk about it with the little ones? To address the issue of child sexual abuse, it is important to keep these points in mind:
1. First of all, you need to ask yourself what mobilizes this theme in you. Work it in advance and sharing it with other adults will allow you to place yourself in a more neutral space when you transmit it to your children.
2. Talk about sexual abuse It implies talking about infantile sexuality. Understanding that this is an authentic need of children in infant stage and that they should experiment with it from the health, care and consent is a great milestone to name what is allowed and what should be limited.
3. Generating a space of trust at home is essential so that your children feel that they can count on you in any situation. It is useless if before we understand them, we get angry with them when they do something we do not like, or that we invalidate their anger just because they annoy us without taking into account that the aggressive energy that is mobilized in their outbursts can serve to put them a good limit to possible abuse.
4. Teach them to say "NO", although this causes us more complications when it comes to managing day to day parenting. Raising submissive sons and daughters is easier, yes, and at the same time, it is more risky for their emotional and vital well-being. In turn, we must respect their limits as long as they do not pose a risk to their integrity, both physically and emotionally.
5. It is important explain very well that there are secrets that take care of us - like surprises, or confidences between friends that do not harm or speak ill of anyone-, and the secrets that hurt us - like keeping something inside that does not do us good, or not saying something just because they have told us not to do it. In the school setting, it is worth emphasizing what 'snitching' means and explaining that when what we are going to say has to do with someone suffering, this is fine because that is how we generate care. This is good behavior to prevent abuse of power among equals (bullying).
6. Last but not least, it should be noted that There are certain narratives that a creature could never make up Unless you have experienced or lived an experience not appropriate for your age. Sexual abuse can be caused both by people older than them and by coercion suffered by experimenting with peers, or both. If you have any questions, I refer you to consult with expert professionals who can advise you on your need.
Remember that the biggest prevention is information. So I encourage you to find your way to be able to explain to your sons and daughters what, according to their age, they should know in order to be much safer and more secure in relation to this type of toxic experiences for their well-being.
Author: Elisenda Pascual i Martí, psychologist, psychotherapist, author of the book 'Clara y su sombra' and founder of the Family Accompaniment project.
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