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It was always clear to me that I wanted to have at least two children, so after having my first daughter, I didn't have to decide whether or not I had a second, but when. The upbringing of my firstborn had absorbed me so much that I kept putting it off and putting it off to try to get my husband and I to recover psychologically and physically from this adventure we had embarked on. But, Is there a perfect age difference range for having children? I imagine that it will depend on each case, so I want to tell you about my experience, because for me there is.
And, in my perfectionist and controlling zeal, was how I tried to try to figure out what is the best age difference between siblings. Of course, the space between children is not 100% under anyone's control, right? In fact, I'll give you a fact, surprise pregnancies happen to many people (in 2011, 45% of pregnancies in the United States were unplanned, according to the Guttmacher Institute).
As a result, my daughters are separated by three years and eight months. I am very happy with how everything has turned out, because in my experience as a mother I have come to think that three years is the perfect age difference. While that may not be true for everyone, here's why it is true for me and my family.
Only one of them is wearing diapers
Although this is not 100% true in some cases, I know! Some children continue with the diaper at night until they are 6 or 7 years old, while others with the arrival of the little brother suffer a process of setback or protest and go back to peeing on the bed when they sleep. But, in general, when we went out to the park, I only had to worry about bringing diapers for the little girl and, yes, some extra panties for the older one in case there was any leakage.
Because the oldest can walk without help from anyone
When you have two children, your two hands do not give you everything, so it is great that the older one fends for himself, since you will have to carry the little one in the cart or carry it with you. Even to try to make the first-born feel integrated in this process of having a baby brother - for some children it is very hard - you can encourage him to be the one who pushes the cart. It will feel important!
You don't have to carry a double cart
When I see mothers with two very small children or twins and twins with those big cars, I imagine what their back must be suffering! Too much weight! In other cases, there are those that put a seat for the 'older', but the weight is the same.
Because the 'big boy' can follow some rules
Of course, it is already known that only for a few seconds and when he wants. You can explain to him that he holds onto the cart when you are going to cross the street because it is dangerous and he will listen to you sometimes and not at other times. Also let him play with his brother while you go to the bathroom for a moment, yes, removing any dangerous object from his reach. Little by little, I will understand everything.
Because you can do similar activities with both
By taking only three years, both are in the same age range to perform similar activities. With a baby and a 3-year-old, you can go to the library's storytelling workshops. However, I think if I had a 5 year old, that would be impossible! With a baby and a 3-year-old, another good leisure option might be to go to the park, and as they get older, a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old will like to visit a museum together.
Because you can reuse clothes and car seats
You may have to adapt some things, especially if one is born to you in summer and another in winter, but in general the clothes can be the same for both: they have not gone out of style and they have not been damaged by having them in boxes. And if one is a boy and another is a girl, nothing happens either! Blue can also be worn by them and pink by them, right?
The car seats are also an advantage, especially if we take into account the price of them. You will have to check if the legislation around security has changed, but if everything remains the same, your children will take enough age so that the minor inherits that of the child and not have to duplicate junk and expenses.
Because you can explain to the little one that he is going to have a baby brother
With a smaller age gap, the arrival of a baby can seem very sudden and shocking and, most of all, incomprehensible. With a gap of three years, your child will know what is happening at all times and, in addition, will have a lot of time to prepare, even if then once the four of them together do not accept it well.
Read more: [Jealousy between brothers]
Because they don't share nap times
This may sound illogical to you, but you will soon understand why I am telling you. It is true that you do not rest, because you always have one of your children 'attached to you', but, at least in my case, the staggered nap schedule turned out to be a good thing. One of the most difficult things for the older child is that they no longer have the exclusive attention of the parents. So my youngest daughter's nap time became an opportunity for the oldest, who craved attention more than anything else in the world, to have some time with me for herself.
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